Heated Butts, an Elmer Fudd Hat, and Love

Jack and AudiLast week was Jack and my twenty-first anniversary.  Jack bought himself an Audi convertible.  He bought me flowers.  And candy. 

flowers anniversary 001

We’ve been a one car family for all but a couple of our twenty-five years together.  That’s because Jack retired the year we got married.  Well, okay, that’s not quite true.  He hung his boss out a third story window and was asked to accept that his job had exacerbated his PTSD, take his disability payments and stay home.

Of course that same year he was so close to suicide every morning I woke with him still beside me in the bed was a victory.  But he truly did hang the boss out the window and that makes a better story, don’t you think?  It’s something many of us fantasize about doing at least once in our working lives.  Me?  I got even with my bosses by writing a book and putting the bastards in it.  That novel, The Perfect Victim, is with the publisher.  I’ll let you know when it comes out so you can see the fate of those that harass and piss off a writer.

So.  Back to that new car of Jack’s.

Jack and Audi rear view 

The publication of My Life with a Wounded Warrior helped to heal some wicked wounds in my marriage.  It turns out, much to my surprise, that the truth truly does set us free.  Or, at least, it did in this case.  See, I wrote My Life with a Wounded Warrior when I thought the marriage was in its death throes.  There was nothing to lose by telling the stark, honest-to-God truth. 

But a funny thing happened in the telling.  The writing burned through the anger.  The truth scorched a narrow trail across resentment, revealed the truth.  And the truth is that I love my husband and he still has things to teach me about life.  The truth is that my telling and his reading those essays helped us figure out how to make the adjustments needed to enjoy each others company again.

So, what on earth does any of this have to do with Jack’s new car?

Funny you should ask.

If you’ve read the book, you know that a year or so ago Jack went behind my back and bought a red Lexus that very nearly bankrupted us and released the hounds of anger within the marriage.   Just looking at that vehicle made me sick to my stomach. I was enraged all over again each time I rode in the damned thing. We came close to divorce.  We both passed way beyond anger and into resentment and rage. 

So last week when he called his friends to tell them about his new car, his end of the conversation went like this:

“I got myself a 2006 Audi convertible!”

A pause.

“Yes, yes, Pam knows.  She approved the purchase. ”

A second pause.

“Yeah, yeah.  Pam knows.  We talked about it before I bought it and she’s fine with it.”

All of his friends, you see, have read the book and none of them want him sleeping on their couch.

There are major differences between his purchase of the Lexus and that of the Audi.  For one thing the Lexus was about three times the cost of this Audi.  The price helped me to be more comfortable with this purchase. But the main difference is that this car was bought in honesty with open communication between us. 

Tomorrow is predicted to be about six degrees here in Arkansas.  My plan is to put on my Elmer Fudd hat and heavy coat.  Jack will put the top down on the Audi, crank the heater up to bake and the seat warmers up high enough to bake a pizza.  We’re going for a ride.

We’ve earned it.

If you enjoyed this post you might want to take a peak here.

About Author and Speaker Pamela Foster

Pamela Foster is a speaker and author. Her first book, Redneck Goddess, is available at local bookstores and on Amazon. Her second book, Bigfoot Blues, will be available in August 2012.
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9 Responses to Heated Butts, an Elmer Fudd Hat, and Love

  1. Jack and Pam went for a ride, cold as it was. No fear, heat the seat and fan the warmth, for tis the beginning of a new year.

  2. nancyhartney says:

    Well, hot damn. Great new beginning to another wild ride. Floor it baby!

  3. Madison Woods says:

    I loved everything about this post – the story itself and the wonderful way you have of telling such stories :)

    • Thanks, Madison. Haven’t seen you in a while. Loved the pictures of Europe!

      • Madison Woods says:

        We had so much fun! Now that work isn’t an issue, when I get some sort of routine established I want to start coming to our writer meetings again, at least once a month. So I should see you again soon. I’ve been seeing your progress and I’m impressed with where all you’ve gone with your writing and life!

  4. Katie Cross says:

    Sounds like you’ve got some awesome friends! I’m

  5. Natine says:

    Absolutely laughed aloud! Apparently your husband has friends like my husband’s. My guy happens to love classic cars. I think a “classic” husband is enough classic for one family, but if it’s a vehicle he’ll use as his daily car, I’ll live with it. So he’s got one (we have a 1-car-width driveway with carport in tight neighborhood) but his roving eye is always checking out other possibilities. His friends know enough to remind him he still lives with me. :)

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