GLUTTONY AND SLOTH

I am a lazy glutton.  But it’s not just me.  And I can prove it.

My favorite candy is Peanut butter Cups.  My only complaint against the delicious calorie-packed treats used to be that mountain of orange and brown wrappers that accumulated next to my place on the couch and gave away my gluttony. (Yes, that’s correct.  I really am capable of convincing myself that the size of my ass isn’t a dead giveaway that I’m feeding my face with something besides blueberries and wheat germ)

Reese’s solved the tell tell wrapper problem for me. They now make teeny tiny peanut butter cups WITH NO WRAPPERS.   Easy smeezy.  Just rip open the package and start stuffing them in my mouth.

Now, I admit I eat way more of these little drops of heaven than is good for me, but Reese’s isn’t making them ALL for me.

Seriously?  How obscenely lazy have we become?  These candies are so popular that my corner store ran out of them.  Lucky I had to go to Walmart for something else anyway.  (I did NOT drive three miles JUST for the peanut butter cups!  I didn’t. I only had another two days worth of milk.  It’s better not to run low on staples.)

So, it’s not just me, is it?  You too have driven miles in the dark of night to satisfy some gluttonous craving, haven’t you.  Tell me about it.  Please.  You’d be doing me a favor and you’ll feel ever so much better when you get it off your chest.

Advertisements

About Author and Speaker Pamela Foster

Pamela Foster is a speaker and author. Her first book, Redneck Goddess, is available at local bookstores and on Amazon. Her second book, Bigfoot Blues, will be available in August 2012.
This entry was posted in humor and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to GLUTTONY AND SLOTH

  1. Bonnie K. Tesh says:

    Sorry, Pam. I hate to tell you this but I have never gone out in the middle of the night to satisfy a craving, at least notsince I quit smoking cigarettes. I guess that was probably forty years ago. I actually am not good at addictions. The good Lord knows I’ve tried. It just never works for me. I do have a suggestion that might save you some trips though. I keep a good supply of every kind of junk food available in the civilized world. That way you can’t become addicted to any one thing. Variety is the spice of life, right?

    • Oh, Bonnie. I swear if I kept a cupboard filled with junk food, I’d weigh three hundred pounds. I sometimes think my only exercise is walking across the Walmart parking lot to replenish my supply.

      • Bonnie K. Tesh says:

        I was just playing with you, Pam. The extent of our junk food is an occasional sugar free cookie. I’m addicted to my pepper mill and morning coffee. That’s about it. That being said, don’t dangle a Snickers bar in front of me. You might lose a finger or two. Alas, I don’t get enough exercise either, but we’ll start next week, won’t we?

  2. Joy Keeney says:

    I’m not a fan of the regular Reese’s cups they just taste …funny. However these wee ones are pretty tasty lil treats!! My true addiction is Reese’s Pieces though.

  3. Rachel Patton says:

    Nope. Never had that problem. It must of stopped with you at the gene pool. Lol. First of all, when did they replace Peanut M & M’s? Also, I stock up on at least a weeks worth of junk food so that very thing dorsn’t happen. All your writer friends are wondering where this so called niece is coming from. Can’t help myself …

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s