Well, okay, let me qualify.
I love my friends and my family. Spending time with them, wallowing in their love, brings me joy and peace and fun and provides lots of funny stories at their expense. But, if I’m not ME, if I hold back and second guess and fret that I’ll hurt their feelings, well then. . .is it really ME they love?
So, the secret to owning the proverbial brass ones is no more than having nothing to lose. It’s the ability to honestly let someone walk out of your life when that’s what’s best for them. I mean, today is beautiful, but no guarantees the sun will even rise tomorrow, right?
People change. Unless they’re dead. A friend who was perfect in every way when I was twelve may have absolutely nothing in common with me today. And vice versa. Someone I click with on every level today, may, in the past, have just walked on by.
Do I want people to leave me? No,no,no,no! I do not. When it happens I grieve. I miss them. I often chase after them and offer my love, my time, my energy, anything but, God forbid, an apology.
The older I get the less I second guess myself. I’m far from perfect.
Here you might, if you just listen for a moment, hear the sound of all those who genuinely love me hooting with laughter, slapping palms, nodding their heads, and stamping their large clown feet.
I mess up. A lot. And so does everyone else.
You know that old saying that white is the absence of color and black is the presence of all color. Well, perhaps you’re not familiar with the adage, but trust me, it’s an old saw.
Well, being honest requires the absence of all need to control others AND the presence of all acceptance of change.
Nothing to it.