Diamonds and Erectile Dysfunction

ring

Does it bother anyone else that television commercials for erectile dysfunction are almost indistinguishable from advertisements for diamonds? 

I’m serious. 

cialas tubs

Hit the mute button next time either kind of commercial comes on TV and see if you can tell whether they’re selling jewelry or erections. 

  • Same 60’s pop music. 
  • Same gaze of affection between the gorgeous older man and his twenty-year younger, wrinkle and fat-free wife.
  • Same look of adoration at climax, be it a ring or an orgasm he’s bought and provided. 

And it’s always the guy expected to provide the whole sparkly deal, right? 

I find this disturbing though I cannot tell you if it’s the reference to buying sex, be it with the aid of the earth’s hardest gem or a chemically-enhanced penis, or the whole after-forty-years-we’re-as-hot-for-each-other-as-we-were-at-nineteen nonsense. 

Either way, it seems culturally revealing.  Remember the old joke (Ron White’s the first one I heard tell it) about DeBeers best marketing line ever: 

“Render her speechless.”

Which is the same basic thing as saying, “Shut the bitch up.”

This IS a good line, but it follows the same logic that marketing has used for years to sublimely convince us that only those who can afford jewelry truly love one another.  AND, often times the same man who can afford the flashy diamond, has ruined himself with stress to earn the money to buy the jewelry and must now pay for that little blue pill in order to satisfy his wife who, thanks to modern medicine, expects the poor slob to continue to function like an eighteen-year-old until he drops dead with a smile and a hard-on. 

I ain’t sayin’ that’s a bad way to go.

I’m just pointing out that the whole money-buys-love-and-satisfaction deal joined in unholy matrimony with let-me-rub-testosterone-in-my-armpit-and-poison-myself-and- everyone-who-comes-in-contact-with-me-in-order-to-deny-I’m-ageing thing?  That union is a little twisted. 

Isn’t it?

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About Author and Speaker Pamela Foster

Pamela Foster is a speaker and author. Her first book, Redneck Goddess, is available at local bookstores and on Amazon. Her second book, Bigfoot Blues, will be available in August 2012.
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16 Responses to Diamonds and Erectile Dysfunction

  1. Linda Apple says:

    Preach it sister. You just might be Lexi in my book. Wait. YOU ARE LEXI!

  2. Teresaparker says:

    There is more to a great marriage, but not much more. LOL. Love the way you write.

  3. Beth Carter says:

    What an observation but now that I think about it… Interesting post.

  4. Katie Cross says:

    This may be the funniest thing I’ve read in too many weeks. Pamela, your best post yet! Haha!

  5. Funny! Always a different way to see things. Love doesn’t have anything to do with diamonds or sex, but they’re both fun to get 😉

  6. Jan Morrill says:

    Pam, you have such a way with words. I was reading your blog as I waited for a pizza and laughed out loud. Now, I’ll think twice when I watch those commercials and certainly will never admit to wanting either. 🙂

  7. Natine says:

    Hadn’t noticed connection between jewelry and the pill stuff, but I’ve made LOTS of comments about the pill thing — many similar to those you express. My big question: why would anyone transport a pair of claw-footed tubs to beaches, mountains, and woods? What is that all about??

    • Tapping into fantasies is something at which advertising is so very good. I think you and I are in the minority with the way our brains pick the fantasy apart and dwell on the impossible logistics and false expectations instead of just letting the music and soft lighting carry us into lala land.

  8. rgayer55 says:

    I wish I could say I got aroused just reading this, but you’d peek right under my beer belly and see I was lying.

  9. Tim says:

    Twisted would be polite, arrogance and artificial well being are pastured intones of our believing spend first gather unsurpassed perversions of personal debt and die sadly because you (a man) can’t get it up and the you (a woman) is supposedly dissatisfied because the rock on her hand doesn’t perform the likes of what was once her young man.

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