Beware the Tums

You may have noticed it’s been a while since I posted a new essay on this blog. Or maybe you haven’t noticed at all. At any rate, I was in the hospital for two weeks and am still recovering. That’s my excuse.
I keep trying to write an explanation of what happened to me, but honestly other people’s health issues are as interesting as mud, so I’m going to share with you two details and then we’ll move on to more entertaining posts.
• I almost died from taking too many Tums
And, moving on to the interesting part,
• When you have calcium poisoning, you hallucinate. A lot.
An entire village of people visited with me during this time, but the two whose company I enjoyed the most were a stoic, white-faced geisha and a Samurai whose face was a roadmap of pain and suffering. The geisha’s kimono and the Samurai’s armor were both heavily decorated in shiny gold, glowing silver, and flashing gems. The intricate details of their attire morphed and twisted and became an entire universe of beasts and forests and interlocking mazes.
There were other beings around too, however, and these others looked like ordinary men and women. Nice folks who crept close, spoke pleasantly, and peered into my soul before dropping their masks and revealing their true, evil natures. I did not enjoy the company of these individuals. Especially as it was so difficult to separate them from the doctors and nurses who drifted in and out of my room at all hours. I kept thinking of the line Stephen King stole and put to such good use.
“Is it real or is it Memorex?”
Here’s what I learned from my adventure through the terrifying world of hallucinations:
• Don’t ignore your health, no matter how busy you are, no matter how much someone else is depending on your to care for them, stop your life and see a doctor if you have a chronic medical issue. Like heartburn. Oh. And never, ever take more than two Tums a day. You might get unlucky and end up with a body that just decides not to eliminate excess calcium but to collect the chalky stuff in order to dish up fascinating and terrifying hallucinations on its way to killing you dead.
And even more important:
• Evil, Memorex or ‘real’, cannot be defeated with hatred. Nor will anger do more than fatten the fear so that it grows stronger, and ever more powerful. No. When one walks through the valley of the shadow of death, the only way to defeat evil is to become a conduit of God’s love and acceptance. Light defeats darkness. Every single time.

About Author and Speaker Pamela Foster

Pamela Foster is a speaker and author. Her first book, Redneck Goddess, is available at local bookstores and on Amazon. Her second book, Bigfoot Blues, will be available in August 2012.
This entry was posted in calcium, caregiver, health, heartburn, Pamela Foster and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Beware the Tums

  1. laurewaytek says:

    Amen! So glad the darkness is defeated and you are safely recovering.

  2. Glad you are doing okay now and that it did not succeed in taking you from us! Great advice we should all heed. For heartburn, I have found Xantac to be very effective, and much kinder than Tums. One of those will offer all day relief, if necessary, and they work within a few minutes 🙂
    I am now hearing in my head the voice of ‘the most interesting man in the world’…
    “I don’t often get heartburn, but when I do I take Xantac.”

  3. Julie James says:

    Well said, well written, always from your heart. Sssoooooo glad your getting better.

  4. Lonnie says:

    Thanks for sharing, Pam. So many over-the-counter products can be hazardous. Stay well.

  5. I had no idea Tums could do such horrific things! Glad you are on the road to recovery, Pam.

  6. Herb Hawn says:

    So sorry to hear about your bout with Tums. I know from very personal and long term experience that “heartburn” or esophageal reflux is nothing to play with. I’ve been laid out on the “table” two or three times while the burn Barrettes disease (?) out of my throat. It is precancerous but the timely burning is supposed to hold the “C” at bay.
    A trick or two, if I may. I take prescription Prilosec, which when prescribed can be had for $3 or $4 per month at Walmart of most chain pharmacies now. I have serious reflux, and take two heavy doses each day. The Xantac that folks have mentioned is also available by prescription and is an excellent “emergency” pill if you have been careless with the chocolate or red pepper.
    And this is not generally known, but my doctor shared this with me and it really works. Often what I eat or drink will get hung up in my throat and just hang there, sometimes even liquids like water with hang up. My doctor suggested that I try some nitroglycerin, which is often prescribed for heart pain. He said that it works by relaxing soft muscles, which also applies to the throat. He also said that there is little risk of over dosing or abuse. I’ve tried it many times, two or three pills, and it always works within a few minutes, what ever was hung up in my throat is gone.
    Best wishes to you and I’m glad that you cheated death this time.
    – herb
    Aging seems to be the only
    available way to live a longer life.

  7. Every time I read something you’ve written I am thankful once again that we met and you are around. I take Prilosec prescribed to me when my esophagus wilted. Not the right word, but the right one was used earlier so I don’t have it any more. Oh, yes, here it comes. Collapsed. Have taken it ever since. I don’t recommend nitrates, though. There is a definite danger in that it drops your blood pressure and that can indeed be dangerous. I take them, but was cautioned to be very careful, if the second one in twenty minutes does not stop chest pain, do not take anymore but call 911. So, there is a difference of opinion between doctors there. Besides, I found they do their best to blow the top of my head off. Not pleasant either.
    Love you, lady. Hope to see you in a few weeks.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s